SweatyShe Monday: The Vitamix Cult

By: Susan Farago

Papa Bernard - the original Vitamix salesman

I was recently in the Whole Foods produce department when my eye spied a big display of fruits, veggies, cookbooks on juicing, and boxes and boxes of THE WORLDS GREATEST juicer/blender/mixer/slicer/dicer -- The Vitamix. As my brain was reeling from the possibilities of a juice-based existence, I made eye contact with a guy who was standing in and on this display. His name was Jason and he was the pitch man. So I marched right up to him and said, "OK, convince me." He smiled and said, "With pleasure."

For the next 5 minutes my husband Leary and I got a steady stream of information about what the Vitamix does, how juicing benefits everyone's life, that children are overweight because of how much processed juice they drink because all the fiber has been stripped out, how people don't get enough fiber to begin with, and then he whipped up a chocolate almond frappa-something for us to sample (which also had cabbage, avocado, and carrot - but who would know?!)

Then I  asked the magic question, "How much?"
$450 for the plain version and $499 for stainless. This was quite the departure from my little $90 Black and Decker blender from Target which would have completely blown up by this point in the demo. Then as if to read my mind, Jason launched into something that sounded similar to the recent presidential debates on foreign policy. "The Vitamix is all American made in Cleveland, Ohio and has been since 1921. It comes with an eight year warranty and if you need anything fixed, they will pay for shipping and it will be sent to a facility here in the United States. No Chinese parts or labor here!" Sir you have my vote. Then I said, "OK, now convince him" and I pointed to my husband who missed the good old "Made in America" speech because his brain was still trying to register $450.

The newest addition to our family!

At this point people were starting to gather around us and Jason sensed his moment. A customer had just walked by and told the group, as if on cue, "I have a Vitamix and I LOVE IT!" With that, Jason and the Vitamix machine went into overdrive. Before we knew it, we were being treated to tortilla soup, mocha chocolate frappachino, berry smoothie, and chocolate ice cream (again, with cabbage and avocado - and the first time I've ever seen Leary voluntarily eat anything with avocado). Jason looked over to an older woman standing to his left. He said, "You're a Vitamix owner aren't you." She said, "Yes! How did you know?" He said, "I could tell. There's a certain arrogance and pride that owners have when they stand and watch my demos. You have that." Wow. He's good.

By now two people had a Vitamix blender box in hand. They were sold! I looked at Leary and he knew what was coming. I said, "OK, if I cash in Christmas, my birthday, and a few anniversaries, can we get one?" I think I saw a tiny tear form in his eye as the thought of parting with $450 was more painful than a root canal. Then I said, "Wait. I have to test something first." So I turned to Jason and said, "Will it make almond butter?" "Yes it will", he said. "OK, prove it." I ran to the bulk foods section and bought about a pound of raw, unsalted almonds. I returned a few minutes later and handed him the bag. "Go for it."

He poured the almonds into the machine and flipped it on high. The almonds went from crumbs, to meal, to flour, and then slowly...slowly...to almond butter. He was jamming the spatula into the machine to push down the almonds and at one point Leary and I looked at each other - we smelled the heat from the motor! But the Vitamix and Jason kept at it. After about 4 minutes, voila - almond butter. Without consulting Leary on his final decision, I walked over to the display, picked up a red Vitamix blender, and plopped it into the cart.

I spent the next 15 minutes running around the produce department like a woman posessed - looking for anything and everything I could juice! I ran back over to Jason with more questions: Could I juice beets? What happens if a pit gets stuck? Can I grind dried beans or seeds? Always the same answer, "No problem. No problem."

My Vitamix machine is in its new home and ready to juice away. I am very hard on kitchen equipment but something tells me the Vitamix is up to the challenge. I look forward to a very long, happy, American made relationship.

Go.Do.Be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Need a way to jump start your week? SweatyShe Mondays are thoughts and humorous musings from the world of active Shes.