SweatyShe Monday: Patience is a Virtue – Do We Need Virtue?

Sweaty She Monday (04/26/10):Patience is a Virtue – Do We Need Virtue?
By: Susan Farago
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I've always been a "what's next" person so living in the moment has never been one of my strong suits. Neither has patience. When I was little my mom always used to tell me, "Patience is a virtue." For the longest time I didn't know what a "virtue" was and figured I probably didn't need it anyway so I continued my impatient, future looking ways.

This year I turned 40 and while I’m not sure if it was the age milestone or the feeling that time is going by way too quickly, I decided to become more centered and try to live in the moment. My first attempt was to just keep telling myself, "I am in the moment. I am in the moment." But then my mind would wander off as I would begin compiling the list of things I had to get done or how I was going to spend the weekend. I felt like Dug the talking dog from the movie “Up” - - SQUIRREL!
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftidAFcJ_EQ&feature=related)

My second attempt was to try meditation. I consulted my yoga instructor who recommended I try Kundalini – a brain balancing meditation and mantra. The process is as follows: sit cross legged on the floor for 1 hour and chant the following phrase: "SA TA NA MA". The phrase is repeated continuously and in 15 minute blocks – first only in the mind, then as a whisper, then normal talking voice, then whisper, then in the mind. I decided right off the bat that 1 hour was not going to work because I would either fall asleep or become too restless. So I opted for 30 minutes total with 5 minute chanting increments. As I got settled into place and began my chanting, my cat Fritz came up to see what I was doing and proceeded to rub against my foot and hand and then head-butt me in the arm. While I appreciated his fuzzy support I booted him outside and resumed my chanting. The second issue I had was not knowing how long 5 minutes actually was so I was continuously looking at my watch. Is it 5 minutes yet? Is it 5 minutes yet? I figured this was probably defeating the purpose but proceeded anyway. After what felt like an eternity, I finished the 30 minute set and was exhausted. And Fritz wanted back inside.

My current attempt is reading a book entitled, "The Presence Process – A Healing Journey Into Present Moment Awareness". Blech. It might as well have been entitled, “How to Watch Paint Dry”. But who am I to judge? Plus it was recommended to me by a friend who is even more impatient and rammy than I am so maybe there was something to it. This is not a quick read and seems to require a lot of coffee drinking on my part to “hang with it” but for the past 2 months I have been reading, pondering, and gleaning little tidbits of insight into being "in the moment". Some examples:

1) When we consciously connect our breathing, the first procedure is the gathering of present moment awareness. This is an automatic by-product of breathing without pausing.
In practice – I have not figured out how to do this without hyperventilating but at least I am taking deeper breaths and not forgetting to breathe (which I sometimes do).

2) The experience of present moment awareness that we seek is nowhere “out there” in the world and cannot be achieved by fiddling with the outer world or moving frantically about in it. It is an inner accomplishment.
In practice – I couldn’t get past the fact that the author actually used the word “fiddling”. It made me giggle. But he did have a point and I could fully relate to, “moving frantically about in it.”

3) Most of us spend our waking hours either thinking about circumstances of the past or events yet to occur. Unconsciously, our mind is almost exclusively engaged in this activity. This is a mental addition and affliction that has imprisoned humanity in an inner world of illusion that is reflected outwardly as our ongoing planetary imbalance…we shall call this illusionary and unbalanced state “living in time”.
In practice – So my question is how does one NOT live in time when the rest of humanity does? Do I need to go live in a hut or ashram? In an attempt to distance myself from time I stopped wearing a watch. But I don't seem to have the hang of it because now I'm late to stuff.

As verbose as the author gets, he does raise some very valid points. I am on page 97 of 323. I have quite a journey to continue and apparently much coffee to drink.

I was trail running last Sunday with two friends and during the run we were talking about being in the moment. Shortly after that conversation, Laura tripped and nearly rolled her ankle. As she shook it off, she muttered, “Well that’s what I get for living in the moment! I was watching two butterflies just ahead on the trail and forgot my footing!”

So does Present Process Awareness allow for multitasking? Probably not. But I bet it allows for virtue!